Brain Drain, Heart Drain

What is in my future...What I want from my life...Do I really know what makes me happy...or I'm just going on repeating every time the same childish mistakes that bring me illusion and brief moments of pleasure?

Is it really good to follow own heart in taking life decisions?
Who is the right person for us? What will make me happy forever? Where is the right place to live?

What was the main fault that made "July 11th 2004" happen?
THE day that deeply changed for ever my life..that weakness that made me strong...that wrong and silly person, that wrong period, that desire of life turning out to be a path of death..that feeling whose echo nobody but me can perceive..

I'm the only person who knows how much pain and how many tears I experienced that day, in that car with my mother, in that half-hour driving me back home. Not even my mother was able to understand me till I opened my heart, becoming a vulnerable and easy to destroy target..

It's a secret that I will keep with me until that soft and hard angel inside me will decide to bring some sun, some hot sincerity in my existence.

What I deserve...?